Do I Dare Ask?

Ok, complete and utter failure, sadly. Yesterday he asked if I wanted to have dinner at BWW. Obviously, I said “yes”.

Miscommunication at it’s finest: He didn’t tell me which location. I live in LA Area of Cali. There’s one north or south of me. Duh, of course I pick the wrong one.

I get there. Parking is horrendous. What’s worse is the wait of 1.5 hours for a table for 2. Incredulous, right?! He decides to do take-out. Where we would eat it, I have no idea.

We get our take-out and he says, “I don’t want to eat it in my car because then people would be waiting for us to leave but we’re not leaving.” His bright idea…drive across the street and eat in the parking lot there.

That’s what we do. Drive across the street and eat in the parking lot there.

That was so not a date. That was so not hanging out. What was it?

 

UGH.

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The lines are blurry!

Friends. It’s comfortable. It’s fun. It’s no expectations.

More than friends? How do you even begin to explain the craziness of this stage. It’s not even a stage it’s a whole new different level. You constantly go back and forth: was that friend move? or more than friend move? as friends i could’ve said … but will he take it as a more than friends comment?

Plus all of a sudden you find yourselves fighting and having arguments over stuff you would never fight about. Miscommunication–prevalent! Where did this all come from with prefacing ‘more than’ to the word friends…

It’s stupid, right? At the same time, you love it! Then again, you want to run away and disappear from earth!

yeah, he likes me. yeah, i like him. Now what?
He’s figuring out if this will be a long term/serious relationship.

…to be continued.

Oh that step….

The like stage. Waiting for the man to make the move. Ooh that step, I can hear you say.

It sucks doesn’t it? For me? It’s been 2 months of texting every day. The past 2 weeks I’ve seen him every single day: dinner, movie, favors, etc. We make excuses to see each other. It’s stupid.

Here are the wrenches: I told him last Friday I’m single it has been a few months though. He left yesterday on family vacation.

UUUHHHH!!!! It hasn’t even been a full day of me not seeing him or the last time we texted and I’m already going mad!

Realism or Cynicism?

Where’s the line? People My mom and boyfriend say I’m pretty negative. Maybe, I am but maybe I’m being down to earth realistic? Can you blame me?

People aim for the moon and don’t even get off the ground! Take a look at those American Idol auditions. Despicable…apparently no one ever had a cynic in their life to bring them back to earth.

It’s not like I don’t have happy thoughts or dreams and aspirations. I’m just realistic with them. Maybe right now I can’t make the million dollars but in a couple of years I’ll be on my way. Maybe you’re not in a position to start a business but that FT job and side hobby you’re doing paves the way in a decade or so.

Can you blame me people? Negative, realistic, cynicism…all relevant terms!

I’m justified 🙂

Communi–WHAT?!

I’m not the typical girl in tune with her emotions or even willing to talk about her emotions. Nor am I the type of girl to start friendships and relationships with anyone who says anything more than “Hi.”

I get a little more complicated than that. Ok, I’ll be honest I get a lot more complicated than that. So I went to someone about my boss and how I’m feeling because of him. She said it’s about communication and building relationships. No joke, as soon as she said communication and relationships: I SHUT DOWN.

Walls up and moat filled with water. WTH is wrong with me? We’re not even talking about personal relationship this is work relationshp and work communication.

Honestly, it all takes time, effort, and work. For me, no thanks. I’d rather walk away. Frustraiting, right?

Don’t get me wrong, I have relationships. I’ve got a boyfriend and we communicate. I’ve got family and we communicate. Maybe it’s because I dont see myself staying here very long nor do I want to but that’s for another post.

Anyone else hear me on this communication/relationship thing? It’s complicated, right?

It’s not my work

In our job-life we will come across the good bosses and the not so good bosses and sometimes we will have the bad bosses.

It’s normal, right? It’s part of life. Its part of changing jobs. It’s a cycle. I’m reaching that part of the cycle: the bad boss cycle.

I’ve been there for about six weeks now. This past week he decided to micro-manage: I meet with him every single morning at 830 to go over my daily tasks. Except to a person like me… It’s no longer my work that I want to or need to get done…it’s his work that’s he is insuring gets done. That leaves me with no motivation or sense of accomplishment when I’ve finished a task.

It’s not my to-do list item to cross off; it’s his.

All the more motivation to finish those career tests and look for a new job, right? This will definitely not be my last job but a stepping stone for a better one.

Les Misérables

I watched this movie a few weeks ago and the songs have been stuck in my head! I suppose it doesn’t help that I’ve found a piano/choral piece for most of the songs and have been playing it every so often.

I’ve sang these songs before but not fully knowing the meaning and context of the songs. It is so much more powerful than a beautiful song with amazing lyrics. It is an empowerment that with just the right push in the right direction can change your whole life. There is also the power of love.

Love does allow people to do ridiculous and amazing things. The love of a mother for a child, a father for a daughter, then a passionate love between two people; one cannot put limits on love for it knows no boundaries.